away from her

Last night while Ben was working his job as an A/V geek, I watched Away from Her, a heart-breaking movie about a sixty-ish woman's initial descent into Alzheimer's. It was really good, but I imagine it would be very hard to watch for anyone who's actually cared for someone with the big A. It was directed by Sarah Polley, who the dorkier among us know and love from her starring role in the sadly short-lived Ramona series on PBS.

My initial reactions were typical: Call parents. Spend more time with grandmother. Do two crosswords a day to keep mind sharp. Stop eating so much canned food, stop using anti-perspirant.

But what's lingered with me the most is Julie Christie's awesome wardrobe. She continues, of course, to be a stone fox 30 years after McCabe and Mrs. Miller, and even in the nursing home where she ended up, was a gorgeous, intellectual type. What does it say that I covet her ivory herringbone coat with a shawl-like collar that buttoned intricately at the neck? Or that I want to practice wearing my hair in the loose, careless way she pinned up her silvery-blond curls?

I want to dress like a sixty-five-year-old woman. Albeit, one in designer clothes carefully chosen by a costume designer, but the impulse is still worrisome.