on my christmas list: a stuffed sheep named dmitri

I have got to start bringing my camera to the exciting events I now attend so frequently in my role as disgruntled teacher who feels compelled to share her negative attitude with the world. I spent the morning helping honor students volunteer at a local shopping center's Halloween costume contest (for dogs and children!), and there were some real doozies that so captured my imagination, much of the afternoon has been peppered with my random descriptions aimed, unsolicited, at Ben.

"And then there was this Chihuahua, dressed as a hot dog! It was sprayed painted red and sandwiched between two oblong white pillows, with curly yellow ribbons on top! Wait, let me draw it for you....."

Two hours later:
"Wait, then there was a dog dressed as Dog the Bounty Hunter, and his 13-year-old owner dressed as Beth [his enormously endowed wife], both with blond wigs! Only she had a flat chest and hairy legs! Because she was only 13! Let me sketch it out so you get the full effect."

Then:
[Me] "You had to see it to understand how cute it was, this baby dressed as an opihi [limpet that dwells stuck to rocks in the ocean]. Here, it was like this....no, more like this...."

[Ben] "Oh, so it was a disfigured baby to boot! Ha ha, your nostrils flare while you draw, because you have to concentrate so hard."

In other words, I have been reduced to the tactics of Cousin Balki's villager friend from Mypos whose job was to draw all the momentous occasions. Next thing you know, Ben will come home to a house full of raisin bran, as I empty boxes into every receptacle, unable to believe that the manufacturer would make false promises as to the number of raisins in each box.