dept. of education time-management report

8:00 am: Arrived at office (I know, scandalously late; only the teachers who have given up hope arrive this late), pondered whether to take a fun-size Snickers from the rapidly dwindling bowl of candy that my mom's retired teacher sorority provides annually for other teachers, not for custodians to stuff their pockets with a week's supply of candy, ahem.Chose to be martyr, sacrificing own needs for the less self-disciplined among the faculty.

8:20 to 10:20 am: Proctored state writing test to group of students (none of which were mine) whose earnest effort was both heartening and demoralizing. Heartening to see students whose 10-plus years of education has actually resulted in skills and the capacity to complete a ninety-minute assignment, which they seemed to give their best effort despite it having no impact on their grades or credis toward graduation. Demoralizing to know that my own pupils have yet to be simultaneously "on-task," quiet, or even seated, for more than ten minutes in my class.

10:20 to 10:45: Searched for teaching jobs in Bellevue and Seattle, pausing over the website of Life Academy just long enough to realize it's not a progressive school focusing on organic farming, but one of an alarming number of Christian schools in the area. Surfed over to The Superficial, which contains way too many photos of boobs in bikinis to be safe for work even before clicking on the NSFW links, but is worth the risk to satisfy my need to see what Britney ate today while walking to her car.

10:45 to 1:30: Oversaw what was supposed to be a fun, no-brainer project, using computers to make posters on literary terms like "plot" and "simile." Turns out that starting up a laptop, let alone manipulating MS Word, is a skill not yet mastered. Twelve computers; each and every error message, low battery warning, or cursor blip prompted a panicked and demanding "MISS!" Decided to extend due date by several days, and that all future assignments will be done on paper. Or slates.

1:30: Cringed when I saw that Anger Management Boy had folded the monitor all the way back and was jokingly, but vigorously, pounding on the desk in frustration. Told AMB that might break the computer. Not sure if it was true, but this is what I've become: a scaremongerer with more regard for discipline than scientific truth.

3:15: Famished from skipping lunch, cruised by the office with a glimmer of hope that basic decency had kept fellow teachers from completely plundering the candy bowl. Nothing, not even a stale Tootsie Roll remained in the plastic pumpkin. I bet this never happens in the private sector, where entire office budgets are allotted for seasonal candy.

3:25: Home, collapsed on couch, where gobbled countless Dove Promises, thus accounting for the subsequent loss of sanity that led me to watch Rachael Ray's segment on a bunch of nurses getting an office makeover. (Nurses have offices?) The reveal, in which the nurses inevitably burst into tears, actually made me choke up. Not tear up, mind you, like I did at The Biggest Loser. Physical sobs! Appalling.

As Ben suggested yesterday, maybe it's the menopause.